Introducing...Pit Viper
Listen close… do you hear that? Distant rumblings of dirt bike engines zigzagging across the horizon, kicking plumes of grit high in the air; a familiar swish swish as jumpsuit clad snowboarders relentlessly tear down a faraway mountain; the faint crack hissss of fresh brewskis chugged in two seconds flat; and a synthwave soundtrack creeping, thumping, crawling across the sparse desert plain… your eyeballs bask lavishly in vibrant neon colour – the rocks seem to possess an ethereal glow, the sky a spectrum of magically deep purples and supple pinks, and, at the centre of it all, dipping below the landscape, that radiant semi-circle of golden life, the sun. You delicately shake auburn dust and glossy white snow from your sleek mullet curls and stroke your handlebar moustache thoughtfully as a darkly mottled venomous snake spits and curls its frame around your outstretched boot, pledging allegiance. You reach down from your deckchair perch and clasp another ice-cold beer. This isn’t just a lifestyle… This is living… This is… PIT VIPER.
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